LOVE THY NEIGHBOR

Ever since a couple of years ago, I’ve been involved in a sort of feud against a woman living three houses up the street and her two sons,  all because they sometimes use my parking spot.

Granted, it isn’t like I ALWAYS have this problem, but when I do, it’s always their car in front of my house, well, one of the three cars they own. I have a hard time understanding why they just don’t park a few yards down the block where they won’t take someone else’s parking spot. Once, they left their broken down car for over a week in front of my house, and I had to insist they called a mechanic or else I’d have it removed. Three days later, they obliged, but my patience had already run out. 

After that, every other month I will go home to find either of their cars in front of my house, problem to which I’ve had different approaches, such as asking nicely, demanding, or just telling them and explaining how this is a problem for me, and even left them a short letter saying what I’ve already said before.

Anyways, last Saturday, I came home from work and yes, you guessed it, there was their car in front of my house. I was in no mood to deal with them so I just ignored it, since I knew I was going out in a bit and also wouldn’t be back till late at night, I sort of hoped they’d move it by then. But when I came back at one in the morning it was still there, and I had no choice but park my car down the street on the next block. Full disclosure: as I passed the car I might have ever so slightly scratched it with my keys. It wasn’t even that noticeable, but at least I know it’s there.

The next morning I noticed they’d moved their car, but someone else parked there, but I could tell those people would leave soon, and so I decided I’d just use a block brick I sometimes place in my spot so as to discourage people from parking there as a sign that it’s taken, since I was about to go out anyways, but I just didn’t want to see a parked car there when I would come back. Just as I was about to put my shoes on and head outside I heard the motor of a car suddenly turning off, and it was the woman and her son who had just parked there, again.

I didn’t want to lose a second so, from my bedroom window I asked them to move the car. The woman agreed and said they’d move it as soon as they got their groceries out. And then this happened:

Woman neighbor: Do you like sauce?

Me: … Excuse me?

WN: Yes, hot sauce… Do you eat spicy food?

Me: I guess…

WN: Alright, then. I’m making hot sauce anyway, so I’ll be right back with some for you.

Me (to myself): What just happened?

A little later, after her son moved their car and I decided not to move mine from my spot right away like I had previously planned, the woman came knocking at my door with a plate of tortillas and a mug with hot tomato sauce, which she handed me with a smile. Now, some might think that it was a peace offering in an attempt to bury the hatchet, but to tell you the truth I wasn’t buying.

If anything this is the vibe I got from her.

I’m pretty sure there were crushed laxative pills mixed in it, and/ or she had both her sons spit on it. So, I decided to go with my gut and not have any of the hot sauce. It was a bit of a shame because it actually smelled really nice, but I wasn’t risking it. Even my Mom told me to throw it away.  Was I wrong? Was I wise? I may never know, but the thing is, how could I trust a woman who has always been rude to me, encouraging her sons to be offensive and disrespectful towards me?

Either way, I did the polite thing to do, which is what my Mom taught me, whenever someone hands you a plate of some sort, when you return the recipient you must never ever give It back empty. I’ve read that in some countries to not give something back will bring bad luck, but my Mom says it is simple common sense.

I gave both dishes back two days after the whole incident with a cute display of assorted cookies. I said ‘Thank you for the hot sauce, it was very good, indeed’ and then I left. That way, if she was genuinely being nice she will see I was nice, too. If she wasn’t, well then she’ll see I’m a better person than she is, even if I didn’t really eat her sauce due to justified paranoia.

Either way, I guess it’d be better to just be nice to her from now on, since we’ve shared food now. At least until they are gone. Oh, I didn’t mention this before, but they have a ‘FOR SALE’ sign on their house, so I suppose they’ll be moving soon.  What if that was a final attempt at harming me before they go? Or maybe she meant to leave on a good note? See? I can’t decide what her true intentions were. Ugh, I better forget it.

Still, I’m glad I didn’t think of doing the same to her, like maybe rubbing the chocolate cookies on my dog’s butt.  Just thinking of what kind of karma that would bring makes me shudder. Although the thought did cross my mind.

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SWEET DREAMS ARE NOT MADE OF THESE...

Are you afraid of clowns? Like many people from my generation you can blame my fear of clowns to Stephen King’s IT being made into a movie. I remember being scared of walking near gutters, turning the faucet in the bathroom sink on, and taking a shower even. Every kid my age had the same feeling and whenever we see a clown nowadays we are reminded of how frightened we were 20 years ago.

Of course, it became part of my basic nightmares, which also included ghosts, and people close to me suddenly turning into monsters or ghouls. I dream quite vividly so you could say that even a little nightmare would leave me with an odd feeling for the rest of the day.

Nowadays, I don’t usually have these kinds of nightmares, and if I do, they don’t have the same effect as they did before, I’m older now so maybe I outgrew them. Instead, I’ve figured out that what I call nightmares today is stuff that could actually happen to me.  For example:

- My brother moving in with me. OK, I know he’s my brother and I love him and all, yadda yadda yadda, but the thing is, I’m too used to living alone, doing my own thing, and in my nightmare I just knew my brother would take over everything and I’d be stuck with all the responsibilities and cleaning after him. I remember telling my Mom, -in my dream she was delivering the news- “Only if he does his own laundry, pays half of everything and brings his own TV and pays for his extra cable line, cause I’m not sharing.” Fun fact: after realizing it was only a dream, I made up my mind that those would be the conditions he’d have to follow for me to allow him to move in with me.

- Going on a trip and not packing the essentials. This one started out as a great dream, I was with my parents and they told me we’d be going to the beach at Padre Island, Texas, which is a few hours from where they live. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to get there and as I told them that I’d get my stuff ready my Mom tells me “No need, honey, I packed for you”. The latter half of that sentence was in slow motion and her voice lower and lower. Chaos. I opened the bag she had packed for me and I realized she didn’t even put my cell phone, my book or ANY book would’ve been tolerable, or my headphones. My Dad not wanting to go back to the house so I could pick these stuff up wasn’t pretty either.

- My dog running off to the street and into traffic. Enough said.

- OK, so this one is my IT for adulthood. I’m wearing this really cute skirt and I’m out and about in the city, meeting my friends, walking my dog, I’m showing off my chicken legs like it’s nobody’s business and I’m loving it. Life is great. It’s the end of the day in my dream and I suddenly look down and notice that all this time I had forgotten to shave my legs. And by ‘all this time’ I mean all winter, apparently. There I am, wearing my aforementioned cute skirt along with what look like the legs of a hippie who has a ‘herb’ garden in her backyard and an eggplant as a pet. I’m sobbing in frustration and embarrassment and swear never to go out into the world again. The end.

The morning after that nightmare, I made sure my legs were smoothly shaved even if I wasn’t planning on wearing a skirt or short. Just as I used to avoid gutters, I did it just to be safe.

      Featured imageby AleG

HAPPY ERR… NEW YEAR

First of all, Happy New Year! even if we are half- way through the second month of the year. So, what’s new with everyone besides your calendars? Great stuff, I hope.

Is any of those new stuff new year’s resolutions? I didn’t really make any this year, but I guess what is basically on my mind as resolution is to finish what I start, or continue with it, such as this blog I started almost a year ago.

In other news, I am now officially an aunt. The little bundle of joy was born about a month and a half ago, and he’s as cute as I expected him to be if not more, even.  I probably already broke the kid cause I started singing to him and he actually likes it. Well, we assume he likes it since he just stares at me and stops his crying, except for when it’s time for his meal of course. There’s no song in the world that substitutes for food.

Other than that, right now there is not much more to report, though I’m working on some topics to post so I won’t lag as much as I did for the last few months.

Ooh! Before I forget, I’d like to invite anyone who’s interested to “Like” a Facebook page I started as a hobby, in which I post pictures of looks I created on Polyvore. This is the link to the page, so feel free to click on it and browse. I just started it a couple of weeks ago, and I’m kind of sorting the photo albums so it is organized in the future. Also, if you have any questions as to how to style a certain item of clothing, feel free to post on the page, and I’ll try my best to help you out.

Great to say hello to you all again! (Little secret: I was going to type “y’all” but then I remembered I’m not Miley Cyrus)

REACTION VIDEOS

A while ago, like a year or something, there was this Google page or whatever that made an assumption of what your age is based on your browsing history. According to it, I was a 63 year old lady. Probably had something to do with me listening to oldies songs and pictures of cats. Nowadays, I don’t know what age Google would describe me of having, but I’m guessing it’ll say I’m a 14 year old girl with access to a Visa card.

I remembered that fun fact recently because something has been going on in my head. It’s something I don’t get, and I’m not sure if it’s because maybe I am 63 deep inside, or what. I’m talking about “reaction videos to…” What’s that all about? I don’t understand how taping yourself while you’re watching another video, mostly music videos, for the first time and then posting it on YouTube counts as a form of entertainment. To me, that’s like the crocs of voyeurism.

I got it when people would tape other’s reactions to “Two girls, one cup” video. I mean that was funny as hell, especially the one of the granny who, by the way watched it all the way through. She’s a tough one, in my book. But nowadays, you can’t look for a video in which there isn’t a related post about someone’s first time watching it. Who f---ing cares?

But you know something? Maybe I’ll jump in the whole “reaction video to” bandwagon, only I’ll take it a bit further, like maybe post videos of me reacting to:

- Reruns of Lorenzo Lamas’ Renegade.

- A documentary about how they put the plastic tip on shoelaces.

- Dave Coulier’s E! True Hollywood Story.

- A Google Maps visit to Dollywood.

- Snooki’s audio book read by Christopher Walken. (Oh, wait. That one might actually be funny.)

- A reaction video of you reacting to me reacting to you watching me react to the next music video Rebecca  
   Black releases. REAC-CEPTION!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

So, a few things for today’s post, I’ll go right to it. See that picture I posted? Well, that’s my Tim Burton/ Halloween nail art. I’m particularly proud of it cause I’m getting good at this nail art thing. I also got pretty good at keeping my teeth off my fingernails massacring them like I usually did. As a constant nervous wreck (think of me as a fraidy cat) I tend to bite my nails, it’s so normal to me that I don’t even notice.

Anyhoo, there’s my nail art, hope you like it. I took inspiration from other examples on halloweenie nail art and then did what I liked the most and/ or seemed easier.

Also, here’s a picture of my right index finger nail art because I feel it deserves an honorable mention, being that I did it using my left hand, and I’m a righty. I know of a friend who’d say this is my rendition to Bob Ross. She’s probably not wrong.

I have no picture- taking skills what-so-ever

On another subject, I’m kinda bummed out this year cause I didn’t get to go to any Halloween costume party and I was really looking forward to one. I had my whole costume planned, although I am glad I didn’t buy any of the material I was going to use in advance, because then I’d be pissed as well as disappointed. My costume idea? First I thought about an over-the-top circus ring master, but then I thought dressing as Honey Boo- Boo would’ve been way funnier. I was going to make my own version of the go go juice (just add vodka or whatever).

Alas, my dream of dressing up this year has been crushed. Although the go go juice can still be done. Cheers to that!

Well, I guess that’s it for today. Ooh! My sister has been attending these classes for pregnant ladies, don’t know what it’s called, it’s not Lamaze, anyway, I’ve been going with her and her husband, and today’s the last class. Of course, being a class and all, they had homework for today, which was to make up a situation that could happen during labor and if it doesn’t apply to their baby’s birth plan, to learn how to negotiate with the OB-GYN in charge.

I have no idea what my sister came up with, but what I understood from the assignment is that one should think about the worst case scenario and play it out. Probably ‘cause it’s Halloween, the one I came up with has to do with stuff I’ve seen from cheap horror films, not an actual medical situation. Which, in perspective should make the other scenarios seem like a picnic, don’tcha think?

HELLO? IS ANYONE STILL THERE?

Here I am, posting again, after what was a reeeeally long time, right? The last two weeks my Mom was visiting and, in all honesty, I really focused on spending my time with her. Anyways, her vacation is now over, and I have extra time on my hands, which I will use to write about some terrifying stuff. Also, I was kind of threatened to write soon, so here it goes.

Remember I told you about my sister being pregnant and all? Well, she’s still doing that, and during her pregnancy she’s been reading a lot about the subject. Stuff like what to expect when…  meh, you know the rest.

Still, I think it’s amazing everything she’s learning and then some. Aah, but I promised you a terrifying story, didn’t I? Well, you see, my sister wants to keep me informed about interesting articles she stumbles while doing her research. Among the various types of articles and blogs she sends me links to, she sent me this one. Read it by all means. I'll wait.

In general, I liked the blog and the author’s humor, but that article was just not for me. As I kept reading, I could almost feel parts of my body bullying my uterus into quitting and my tubes into tying themselves. Yes, that’s how afraid that post made me feel about carrying a life for 9 months and then letting it out into the world. The process, and the afterwards is just… no. My entire body went like this.

But I don’t want to leave this post in such a depressing note. So, ummm...

Nope, no way to recover from that.

Um… Good luck, sis!

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IN WHICH I FANGIRLED OVER RAMEN AT WAL-MART

Surely, you or someone you know is as of this moment into a fandom of some sorts. Most fandoms are perceived as subjects of interest for overly obsessed fans by people who aren’t familiar with said subject.

When encountered by a person who belongs to a certain fandom which you are not entirely familiar with, you feel:

1)      You´re trapped in a conversation that not only you’re not interested in, but you’re thinking of nice ways  

       to change the subject or simply leave.

2)      You’ve realized you’ve spent too much time listening to this person, so they think you’re actually 

       interested, and you can’t get out of the conversation because you have the slight suspicion that the other 

       person might be mentally deranged and not react well.

3)      All this time, you have no idea what this person has been talking about, really.

4)      Assume fan is probably on crack because such excitement over one person, place, show or whatever 

      floats their boat is completely bonkers.

On the other hand, when you are into a fandom yourself and you want to talk about it to other people, you feel:

1)      MUST SHARE EVRYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THIS SO THERE WILL BE MORE OF US!

And that’s about it.

Well, at least for me.

But in all fairness I want to come in defense of  fandoms out there, because if anything they can bring people together who, based on their common interest can build friendships and relationships even if they might find themselves on opposite sides of the world. And not only that, some groups of fans realize that their high number of members could be a tool to do something far more meaningful.

Such is the case of a friend’s fandom and the group she helped found, called the Hiddlestoners, which basically means that they are Tom Hiddlestone fans. She recently told me of a really good cause in which they started a drive in support of UNICEF, and by using the Hiddlestoners contacts they plan on completing their endeavor. Tom Hiddlestone found out about it and twitted his appreciation towards his fans, and how awesome is that? (If you're interested, please support as well!)

I’ve experienced different fandoms throughout my entire life, most of them centered on celebrities and TV shows, may they be of the sit-com variety or the guilty pleasures offered by Reality TV.

These days my fandom has spread from being a music genre fandom to fangirling over a whole country. I’m not even sure that counts as fandom. Being a fan of a foreign country. Is there such a thing? Well, I’m writing this aren’t I? So there’s at least one. If anything, this has been my most educational fascination, by far.

Let’s see, I learned the choreography to ‘Everybody’ by The Backstreet Boys and I don’t think even they actually dance it anymore. Counting abs is not really a talent. And I don't really want to talk about what I've learned from watching VH1 reality shows, so let's just leave it at that.

So, me learning about South Korea, besides being a great improvement as far as fixations go, is the greatest thing that has happened to me in a while. Maybe it sounds boring, but trust me, it is not. Reading, watching, listening and even eating what a country has to offer is immensely interesting and gratifying. I’ve been learning Korean for about 3 weeks now (which totally explains my posting hiatus), and every day I love it more. Maybe it’s because it is a beautiful language, or the fact that I’m doing it on my own through an internet course, the point is it feels like AMAZEBALLS!! every time I learn something new about it.

In conclusion, don’t judge a person by their interest, no matter how much a portion of their lives are invested in a certain subject (not to mention emotions, so many emotions), because what may seem like an obsession to you, it is an education and a lifestyle to others. That is, if you don’t bump in the grocery section into a girl holding close a package of dried noodles to her chest that come all the way from Gangnam, South Korea. Yeah, that Gangnam.