IT’S NOT ME, IT’S EEW (EPISODE III)

This past weekend a group of friends and I decided we had to make a much deserved trip to the beach where we could relax, unwind and boost up energy and add a bit of oomph to our summer days.

As any trip to the beach, everything was quite idyllic except for the uncomfortable humidity, which could be fixed with a quick dip in the water. Pretty much the standard outing… except for the view.

We settled down right behind an older man who seemed to enjoy being splashed by the sea right on the shore. He was fleshy… very fleshy. Not at all appealing, but since we were in a public space there wasn’t much we could do about it except look the other way. Whatevs, right?

Later on, while soaking up the setting sun, we noticed a woman dragging her 9, maybe 10 year old son into the water right in front of us, and started, hmmm, how would you say? Splashing him and scrubbing him in his private area. Yep, right there, in public for everyone to witness. Apparently, the boy had something going on inside his shorts that made him itch. A lot. None of us could take our eyes off the scene we had front row seats to, and the mother didn't even flinch to the many pairs of eyes of those appalled of her inappropriate approach to an embarrassing problem her son was dealing with. And it didn’t end there. Whatever it was that had made the boy so uncomfortable in his nether regions, I don’t think that splashing salt water at it was doing the trick, and when it wasn’t working the mother proceeded to pull down the swimming short’s of the poor kid who was already mortified enough, and kept splashing more water at him. EVERYBODY was looking at them, and suddenly we saw the flashing of a camera going off right next to us. To make matters worse in the trauma this poor little fellow will have to endure, his own family took pictures of the whole incident with which I’m sure they will mock him for a very long time.

Oh, the old man and the boy? Probably related, since they were in the same group of tanned vacationers. 

Hopefully, the kid will brush it off and forget it ever happened, but if he doesn’t and ends up on a therapist’s couch wondering where it all went wrong, he could most likely pin- point it to the weekend he went to the beach with his family.