CHOOSING BABE OVER CHOOSING BABY NAMES

Lately I’ve been thinking about choices. Whether it’s your basic “What should I wear today?” or a full on life changing type of choice, most decisions are based upon the fact of knowing there are more than one alternatives to pick from.

You see, the other day I went down memory lane as a result of being labeled through Facebook on a school picture that was taken about 13 years ago. There I was, this scrawny looking kid with a whole bunch of other also scrawny looking kids as well. It was kind of fun seeing faces I hadn’t seen in over ten years and realizing I wasn’t the only one who was going through an awkward phase at the time.

Then I realized, of the 42 students standing there staring at the camera, I believe less than five of us made it out of my small hometown looking for better opportunities and career choices. I was like, really? Is that it? Sadly, it is. And of those who stayed, an even fewer number went on to study at the local university.

Ok, so it’s one thing to stay in a small town and work in whatever position one can get hold of with limited academic education, but the one thing I can’t get over is the fact that some of my female former classmates went through teen pregnancy, two of them actually got pregnant a year after the picture was taken. And the rest already have a family of their own supporting babies and sending kids to school and stuff.

Coming from a small town, that is a normal course and people there have no problem wrapping their heads around this kind of stuff, because, well in a small community, family values are stronger than one would think. Yet, I find it that the only family value regarded in my hometown is making a family and start popping babies as soon as your body is physically ready.

I tried to put myself in the shoes of those who had their babies first. I mean, do I see myself having a pubescent kid who will soon enough be yelling and picking up fights with me as he/she is going through their adolescent phase? HELL TO THE NO. NO WAY. I don’t even see myself with a newborn baby of my own, even if I’m at a more proper age for taking such a responsibility. (I’m excited about my nephew, but I also feel like ‘YAY! A baby I can hold and see whenever and stuff and it ain’t mine!’).

Talking it over with my Mom, in her wise ways of trying to make a less judgmental person out of me, she pointed out that the girls I was talking about chose to have babies and chose those lives for themselves, but to be honest, I have to refute that concept. How could a girl, of 14- 17 years know what she really wants? Is it a true choice? Did they not know what else the world has to offer other than 3 minutes of being uncomfortable (c’mon, at that age, with a horny teenage boy no way it was going to feel like a joyful ride) and a lifetime of raising a child?

I also pictured what it would be like meeting them all again, say today, for example. Yes, many things besides our goofy looks will be apparent that have changed. And yet, I would still feel like the odd one out as I usually did back then, for whatever reason, only this time it’d be because I’m not even remotely close to having a family of my own. To their eyes, my being an independent woman (as far as I can be, but I do live on my own) is nothing more than being a lonely woman who hasn’t been able to catch a fella not even to fertilize one of my eggs. Well, there’s a reason that hasn’t happened and that’s because I feel I’m still too young and not ready for it. If that’s the case then, what were they back then? Completely prepared zygotes? I wouldn’t want to give up on choosing between a few pair of shoes for myself in order to choose shoes for someone else. I’m too selfish still and me not having a baby is just nature’s way of doing its job. Score for nature, right?

Maybe it sounds harsh and as though I feel better about my life in comparison to that of people I used to know, but I can’t help but feel grateful that the choices I’ve made for myself have made it possible for me to have access to a lot more choices in my future, say, if I’d like to travel somewhere or simply catch up on my reading. It’s not things people with kids can’t do, but they have to factor in a lot of considerations and stuff, and for the time being, I like considering only me, as selfish as that may be.

 So even if I’m still not there yet and missing that piece in my life, who’s to say it would actually complete me? If anything I feel complete already, only in constant growing process. I only have to grow out of this selfish phase which comes with cute outfits, dare I say. It might take a while.

SHE LIKES TO DRAW

Today’s post is a special one dedicated to a friend who is embarking in a new adventure in another state to pursue a professional goal, and I want to wish her the best through here.

To be honest, if it hadn’t been for her, I would’ve never had the courage to start up a blog, whatever the result of it might be. She helped me name the blog, designed my beautiful logo and assisted me in setting it up and everything.

Aside from all that, she’s a kind of a wack job, but then again, so am I, which I think is the reason we got along so well.

So, here’s to you AleG, you gave me my first Tarot deck (printed it out for me is more accurate), taught me the fun (and importance) of communication through memes and gifs; you never once mocked my obsessions, if anything you even fed them giving them more power over me (which is actually kinda fun).

Anyways, thanks for everything while you were here, for sharing your interests, and most of all, for not judging me (or calling the authorities) when I talk about stalking celebrities for real.

See you soon! Good luck, and Godspeed!

PS: Keep drawing… I’ll keep writing.

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OBSESSION, THY NAME IS K-POP

A long time ago, the summer before I went off to study in the uni, I was head over heels over an Asian waiter who worked in a recently opened Chinese restaurant in a city near my hometown. I remember begging my parents every time we went to Douglas, AZ, so we could go eat at that particular restaurant with the excuse that last time I hadn’t had any spicy chicken and needed to have me some of that. I’m telling you, this waiter was so worth having to do compromises with my Mom in which whatever outfit I’d want I would trade it for the pleasure of going to this oriental buffet.

His bleached hair was shoulder length and at some point had been dyed orange I think. It was a look I hadn’t seen on any guy before, but it totally worked on him. Every time I saw him it was like The Carpenters would start playing in the background, he was so cute. Although his English skills were limited, as a waiter he was very attentive, and I always tried to make sure his tips were generous.

I know he remembered me after the first time we ate there, and afterwards, even when we were sitting in a section that wasn't his, he would always stop and ask if everything was OK in his thick Chinese accent. As cute as his gesture was, he did had the worst timing because he inevitably directed that question at me (since I was the only one who actually understood what he said), but he would come up at the exact moment I’d be stuffing my face with a whole dumpling.

Of course, I never amounted the enough courage to approach him in a Carly Rae Jepsen manner and at least give him my email address, cause talking on the phone would be out of the question. Had I done something of the sort, there’s a possibility we could’ve connected and had a romance as hot as the wonton soup. Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, right?

Anyways, that was my first and only crush from the orient I had in my entire life. That is, until now.

I’ve told you before about how I obsess sometimes right? Well, let me tell you that these days I’ve been geeking out hard on pop music. After years of listening solely to indie music and trying to find the most underground artists out there, all of a sudden I’m fixated in pop music. But not just any pop, it’s the kind of pop that has to have a letter hyphened before it. I’m talking about the catchy-stick-to-your-brain beats of K-Pop.

Let me explain. It all started with this video, which I saw through Gawker. Let’s just say that, like it did to a whole lot of people on the western hemisphere, it made my day. If you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you do, because it’s the most entertaining music video seen in a while (but, then again, I do watch only indie and underground music so excuse me if I might be wrong). I was interested in watching more videos from Psy when I noticed the “related videos” list on Youtube and I clicked on it. That was all it took. Psy was my gateway to K-Pop and its most popular young artists.

I feel awkward fangirling a boyband when the last time I was so excited about watching a group of guys dancing and singing in unison, Backstreet Boys were dropping their Millenium album. That was over twelve years ago. Back then it was normal for my teenage self to go nuts learning the dance sequence in ‘Larger than life’ and learning the lyrics to ‘I want it that way’ in just two takes. I was a hard core fan, and I idolized Nick Carter. It seems like it was eons ago, so much has changed since, but now I feel like I am a teenager again wanting to dance to songs like this or this. (The last video is of my favorite group so far... and it is indeed a boy, I don't care what anybody says, he is an adorable maknae).

So, what to do when your latest guilty pleasure/ obsession du jour makes you feel like you are way behind and too old for it? I have no answers, I just keep feeding my fixations until I grow tired of it. Basically, that’s what I do. I’ll love you till I’m sick of you. 

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LONDON OLYMPICS 2012

In the midst of the Olympic Games being held in London I thought of a few  activities, which, if they were sports played in the Olympics, I would totally compete in, and probably win a few medals.

-          Amount of food I find that go well with cheese.

-          Pounding a 600ml almost frozen Coke without reacting to a major brain freeze.

-          The longest time without breathing while talking about recent obsessions.

-          The longest time without blinking while watching this gif.

-          Carrying all my groceries to the front door in just one trip.

-          Stalking celebrities I’m obsessed with.

-          Synchronized hankering for melted cheese and chocolate anything.

-          Running around the house looking for my keys right before I have to go to work.

-          Sleeping in the office during my lunch break.

-          Moving my lips to all the dialogue in You’ve Got Mail, Rat Race and Independence Day.

-          Going back and forth from anywhere in my house to my bedroom, always forgetting what I was going to do/ get.

-          Successfully learning the choreography of Single Ladies. In my head.