IT'S NOT ME, IT'S EEW (EPISODE I)

This here is the first installment of a section I’d like to call 'It's Not Me It's Eew', where I'll be briefly featuring photographs of objects, or occurrences that happen to be utterly disturbing.

Today’s piece is an odd item that my sister, my brother- in- law and I encountered while walking down the street. It’s pretty much what it looks like in the picture above: a blood sample tube… with blood in it.

I’m not usually squeamish or anything, but I can assure you that finding something like that just lying around in the sidewalk in broad day light creeped me out like you have no idea. Mostly because I’m convinced that in the tube was the contents of the virus that will bring the dead back to life and turn them into brain eating, putrid, slow walking ghouls. What’s worst is the thought of a zombie outbreak starting in my own city. On that note, if you’ll excuse me, gotta go practice shooting right about now. Peace!

SAYING WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY THE MOMENT YOU WANT TO SAY IT

The way I see it, there are two types of people: there are those who have wit and can come up with quick replies and Bruce Lee speed comebacks when an argument arises in a conversation; and then there are those who just stop dead on their tracks when being unexpectedly questioned or confronted over a point of view.

I belong to the latter of these two groups. I feel a lot like Meg Ryan’s character Kathleen Kelly in You’ve Got Mail. I distinctly remember that email she sent NY 154 in which she seeks his guidance when she wasn’t able to respond to Joe Fox’s provocations, without knowing they were one and the same! And then he falls in love with her, and... and, I digress. Well, that’s me a lot of the time. I don’t exactly have a nemesis who bullies me, and it’s not like I want to learn how to deliver comebacks in order to verbally attack someone.

My case is different, but it feels the same. You see, I’m a little bit weird (understatement of the century) and sometimes I come up with these thoughts that I say out loud. They aren’t creepy or anything, but they don’t necessarily make sense, let’s just say that some of my opinions aren’t always well received. Don’t get me wrong, I mean, it´s not like I’m saying completely obtuse observations like “Kony? Oh, I don’t think he is really that bad, you know? I bet he thought he’d be like Brangelina and adopt lots and lots of kids. Nothing wrong with that! An army of children? You’re crazy! He just wants to bond with those kids by showing them his interests and hobbies! Duh!” I would never say something like that, and if I did, it’d be totally comprehensible if anyone shot that opinion down in a split second.

No, the things that come out of my mouth are far more trivial and, in my head, inconsequential. Things more along the lines of “You know I used to love to wear purple? I did! Then Justin Bieber comes along and ruins the color for me, what with parading around with lavender shirts and purple hoodies!” And as soon as I say something like that there’s this one person who will tell me how many levels of wrong there were in what I just said, by telling me “You know you DON’T OWN the color, right? He is completely free of choosing any color he wishes to wear! Why would you say that?”. Of course, this example is a fabrication, because I’m not about to put the actual conversation, still I was absolutely baffled by this person’s reaction to my comment. And even though what I had originally said had a background to it and I could’ve backed it up, I just couldn’t get a single word or sound even out of my mouth. It startled me that they would actually defend a posture that was really dumb with such passion, thus deeming me unable to respond back.

At this point, I’m racking my brain and probably mumbling to myself awkwardly, and when the wheels finally start turning up there, it’s too late to say anything and it’s not like I can bring it up again two hours after the whole incident.

But then again, miracles do happen as it was proven to me the other day. We were discussing, a group of people and I, about a certain situation, also mundane and trivial. Anyway, I had an opinion about it, and I was fully aware that there could be repercussions being that it was about a subjective matter. I mentally organized my views briefly, and let everyone know what my personal notions were. As I had suspected, outrage from my peers came out in negative comments, but I was prepared to stand my ground in my point of view. I did it, and even though I might not have changed others minds, I could at least be satisfied that they understood my way of thinking. I was so proud of myself, at first. Afterwards I kind of realized I raised my voice in order for others to actually listen to what I was saying, and probably came out a bit rude. That was what Tom Hanks meant when opening that Pandora’s Box.

In any case, what was done was done, and I couldn’t take it back, mostly because I really did believe in what I was saying. But, there is a valuable lesson to be learned here. Whenever you feel like your opinion doesn’t match those of others, speak up because you don’t have to think like everyone else in order to fit in. You will feel better, trust me. Specially if they are your friends, they will respect you and your points of view. Now, if you’re more like me and babble nonsensically about insignificant themes, just laugh it off when being contradicted. Or even better, raise an eye brow and say “I know what this is about.”. If you use an accent you get M&M points.

Image via IMDB

BEAUTIFUL COMPANY

For as long as I can remember, I have always liked to have my alone time. To not be bothered for a period of  time, hours if I got so lucky was the one thing I would indulge in. This part of my behavior was much stronger when I was a student at the university. You could probably understand it if, at times, you feel overwhelmed when interacting with people, like I do. This doesn’t mean I don’t like social interactions or anything, I am socially awkward and all, but I do like spending time with friends, class mates back then and currently co- workers. I just need to feel like I can achieve inner peace for at least an hour a day, and this does not include the moment before I go to sleep, nor the hour or so spent showering, putting on an outfit, applying make-up, and stuff right before I leave the house in the mornings.

When my sister got married and moved out I had been looking forward to living alone, by myself, thus guaranteeing an ample relaxing alone time. I like being alone and I do not feel lonely at all.

But then again, this alone/ not lonely feeling is credited to one furry little friend of mine. His name is Passpartout. He is four years old and the most adorable schnauzer I had ever layed eyes on. Actually, he is the most adorable anything I have ever layed my eyes on. Four years ago when my sister and I decided we wanted a furry bundle of joy to make it our outlet for excessive loving, we went puppy shopping (I am ashamed to say that I have only recently been aware of the fact that adopting is better, but still can’t say I regret it), or so I thought. I told my sister we needed to shop around first before deciding on a four legged receiver of the best doggie toys, rawhide bones and crap to chew on that money can buy, because first of all, I wanted a female dog, and also we had to make sure it was one that would be easily accommodated to our house, being that it isn’t really large.

One Wednesday afternoon, my sister, her boyfriend (now, her husband) and myself walked in a pet shop, asked where the puppies were and the man in charge pointed to a display where there was this one lonely gray oversized dust bunny in a cage. His eyes were wide and looked at us as if he hadn’t seen something so amazing as us in a long time. Alas, it was a he. My sister knowing we should be looking for a female dog, was busy asking the clerk if they had others or something. Her boyfriend and I, on the other hand were busy petting the dog and making noises and trying to play with him through the wire of the cage. I couldn’t help but fall in love with those eyes of his that begged me to be his care-taker for life, and as soon as I was coming to this realization Al (I’ll call my sister’s husband Al), suddenly blurted in a goo goo voice “I will play so much with you!”. That was all it took for me, and I know I used that as a not so good excuse to leave the premises with that puppy in my hands, because right after that I interrupted my sister’s conversation with the guy at the desk by almost shouting to her “Pay the man! Al’s just made a promise to this puppy he just can’t break. Not when this cutie patootie has these beautiful eyes covered in those big bushy eye brows!”

So, we bought him. As soon as I knew he’d be ours I knew I wanted to name him Passpartout. And yes, I was told that dogs should have names with two syllables at most. Don’t care. He looks like Passpartout and he can carry the name quite well, might I add.

He instantly got accustomed to us and made our house his own playground. Three of my favorite shoes were also his favorite to chew on. Darn those expensive good- for- nothing- specially- designed- for- dogs- crap- chew toys! Still, I loved him unconditionally. If Cesar Millan were to read this post he’d be truly disappointed in my dog owner skills. I’ve been told more than once the following phrase “That dog has you controlled, not the other way around”, to which I respond “From day one, and I don’t feel less of a person by it”. Why should I feel bad about loving something that is so very easy to love?

Three years after we drove off from the pet shop with Passpartout totally relaxing in my lap, my sister got married and I got sole custody of our precious furry bundle. I love taking him out for a walk, even when he barks at every pedestrian/ cyclist/ motorcyclist we encounter on the ride to the park, and on the ride home. I actually made a game out of it. Certain types of people make more points if he barks at them. Once I urged him to bark at a man walking by and I swear my dog gave me a judgmental look. Love him, still.

I know I started this post by saying I love my alone time, but I guess I mean to say that I used to. Believe me, Passpartout is one to demand attention all day every day, and I can’t deny that to him, not to those beautiful wonderful eyes that look at me like I’m the cat’s pajamas, even if he hates cats. My “relaxing alone time” now consists of me, being greeted with much love as soon as I walk through the door, and showing my lovely pet how much I missed him back. It must be said, that is as relaxing and stress relieving as it gets (well, as far as free stress relievers go I mean, because I’ve heard of spas and massages and stuff that sound pretty amazing too). I guess that by chewing those three charming pairs of shoes that I so loved to wear out of the way, Passpartout made it possible for me to love him endlessly.

SUDOKU IS THE ANSWER

Have you ever felt like you have problem after problem piling on and on? Have you ever felt so helpless you just don’t know what to do or where to begin solving the crisis that is upon you?

OK, I’ll stop sounding like someone who wants you to join her cult or whatever.

The thing is everyone has felt like this at some point in their life, right? Well, it’s not like I’m trying to ask you to tell me your problems so I can solve them or anything, but I know I can at least offer a suggestion as to how to approach the issues that are making your life a bit stressful. It´s kinda out there, but please hear me out.

I find that SUDOKU is the best way to help out when troubles ensue. I don’t mean that by solving a grid you will be instantly enlightened and be able to tackle your problems because you just saw the answer in the numbers 1 through 9. For those of you who haven’t tried cracking one of these puzzles before I’ll explain real simple what the point is:  It is a grid of 9 by 9 squares divided in 3 by 3 square blocks, with some of the squares already filled out. The point is to fill in the rest of the puzzle without having numbers 1 through 9 repeating in each row, column and blocks.

To solve a puzzle/ your real life problems you should follow some easy steps:

   1)    Start by the easier ones. As in SUDOKU, some problems have one obvious answer. I know, in a puzzle it is much easier than in real life, but you got to start somewhere, right? You might as well get rid of the sort of issues that are more nagging than oppressive first.

   2)     Possibilities in common. Sometimes you can work out a solution through two major possibilities in common. This can be an aid to put things into perspective, and some matters can be solved at this point, while others depend on the outcome you are hoping for. This part is helpful, but you aren’t quite done figuring all out. So, moving on to…

   3)     Elimination. You can now tackle the obstacles that have one single and absolute resolution. By now, the big things that were the source of your stress should be easier to handle and now you can proceed to remedy them.

These guidelines are great, as I’ve found out myself, but another useful tip, both for Sudoku puzzles and predicaments in life that I’d like to share, is to step away from the whole thing for a little bit. Sometimes you´re standing too close to the big mess you might get overwhelmed, so confusion takes over you making it harder to unravel any trouble going your way. Step away, breath, think of something else, relax and then come back with a clearer head and new thoughts.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is if you haven’t yet, give SUDOKU a chance. Trust me, it is quite entertaining and also something I like to call “fun for the brain cells”. Man! How nerdy do I sound? And well, approach real life situations the way you would solve a puzzle. It is almost like a zen feeling. Maybe I am attempting to make you join a cult here. One in which we would be sitting on the floor in a nerd/hippie fashion solving SUDOKU puzzles all the while eating M&M’s. Oh, but there will be showers and soap, cause I don’t want it to be that kind of cult.

So, let me know in your comments whether you’ll join what you think about this post! Hope you enjoyed!

FIRST POST EVER!!

This is the first post of my first blog ever (am I already planning on having more than one?), and I wish to start by writing a little bit about myself.

My name is Clementina, I’m in my late 20’s and I'm an Architect (allegedly, proof is yet to be found on this matter).  I have a proclivity towards chocolate, regular Coke and cheese. Not all together. No, that would be gross. I think.

I have a full time job and on my free time (lunch break) I plan on tending to my blog. Also, as I’m writing this, I have no idea what I’m going to call it yet. Oh, dear. I promise you won’t be reading a no- name blog.

I’ll try to post something as much as I can, and also hope you will enjoy. See you soon! Thanks for reading!

-Cleme