SAYING WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY THE MOMENT YOU WANT TO SAY IT

The way I see it, there are two types of people: there are those who have wit and can come up with quick replies and Bruce Lee speed comebacks when an argument arises in a conversation; and then there are those who just stop dead on their tracks when being unexpectedly questioned or confronted over a point of view.

I belong to the latter of these two groups. I feel a lot like Meg Ryan’s character Kathleen Kelly in You’ve Got Mail. I distinctly remember that email she sent NY 154 in which she seeks his guidance when she wasn’t able to respond to Joe Fox’s provocations, without knowing they were one and the same! And then he falls in love with her, and... and, I digress. Well, that’s me a lot of the time. I don’t exactly have a nemesis who bullies me, and it’s not like I want to learn how to deliver comebacks in order to verbally attack someone.

My case is different, but it feels the same. You see, I’m a little bit weird (understatement of the century) and sometimes I come up with these thoughts that I say out loud. They aren’t creepy or anything, but they don’t necessarily make sense, let’s just say that some of my opinions aren’t always well received. Don’t get me wrong, I mean, it´s not like I’m saying completely obtuse observations like “Kony? Oh, I don’t think he is really that bad, you know? I bet he thought he’d be like Brangelina and adopt lots and lots of kids. Nothing wrong with that! An army of children? You’re crazy! He just wants to bond with those kids by showing them his interests and hobbies! Duh!” I would never say something like that, and if I did, it’d be totally comprehensible if anyone shot that opinion down in a split second.

No, the things that come out of my mouth are far more trivial and, in my head, inconsequential. Things more along the lines of “You know I used to love to wear purple? I did! Then Justin Bieber comes along and ruins the color for me, what with parading around with lavender shirts and purple hoodies!” And as soon as I say something like that there’s this one person who will tell me how many levels of wrong there were in what I just said, by telling me “You know you DON’T OWN the color, right? He is completely free of choosing any color he wishes to wear! Why would you say that?”. Of course, this example is a fabrication, because I’m not about to put the actual conversation, still I was absolutely baffled by this person’s reaction to my comment. And even though what I had originally said had a background to it and I could’ve backed it up, I just couldn’t get a single word or sound even out of my mouth. It startled me that they would actually defend a posture that was really dumb with such passion, thus deeming me unable to respond back.

At this point, I’m racking my brain and probably mumbling to myself awkwardly, and when the wheels finally start turning up there, it’s too late to say anything and it’s not like I can bring it up again two hours after the whole incident.

But then again, miracles do happen as it was proven to me the other day. We were discussing, a group of people and I, about a certain situation, also mundane and trivial. Anyway, I had an opinion about it, and I was fully aware that there could be repercussions being that it was about a subjective matter. I mentally organized my views briefly, and let everyone know what my personal notions were. As I had suspected, outrage from my peers came out in negative comments, but I was prepared to stand my ground in my point of view. I did it, and even though I might not have changed others minds, I could at least be satisfied that they understood my way of thinking. I was so proud of myself, at first. Afterwards I kind of realized I raised my voice in order for others to actually listen to what I was saying, and probably came out a bit rude. That was what Tom Hanks meant when opening that Pandora’s Box.

In any case, what was done was done, and I couldn’t take it back, mostly because I really did believe in what I was saying. But, there is a valuable lesson to be learned here. Whenever you feel like your opinion doesn’t match those of others, speak up because you don’t have to think like everyone else in order to fit in. You will feel better, trust me. Specially if they are your friends, they will respect you and your points of view. Now, if you’re more like me and babble nonsensically about insignificant themes, just laugh it off when being contradicted. Or even better, raise an eye brow and say “I know what this is about.”. If you use an accent you get M&M points.

Image via IMDB