REACTION VIDEOS

A while ago, like a year or something, there was this Google page or whatever that made an assumption of what your age is based on your browsing history. According to it, I was a 63 year old lady. Probably had something to do with me listening to oldies songs and pictures of cats. Nowadays, I don’t know what age Google would describe me of having, but I’m guessing it’ll say I’m a 14 year old girl with access to a Visa card.

I remembered that fun fact recently because something has been going on in my head. It’s something I don’t get, and I’m not sure if it’s because maybe I am 63 deep inside, or what. I’m talking about “reaction videos to…” What’s that all about? I don’t understand how taping yourself while you’re watching another video, mostly music videos, for the first time and then posting it on YouTube counts as a form of entertainment. To me, that’s like the crocs of voyeurism.

I got it when people would tape other’s reactions to “Two girls, one cup” video. I mean that was funny as hell, especially the one of the granny who, by the way watched it all the way through. She’s a tough one, in my book. But nowadays, you can’t look for a video in which there isn’t a related post about someone’s first time watching it. Who f---ing cares?

But you know something? Maybe I’ll jump in the whole “reaction video to” bandwagon, only I’ll take it a bit further, like maybe post videos of me reacting to:

- Reruns of Lorenzo Lamas’ Renegade.

- A documentary about how they put the plastic tip on shoelaces.

- Dave Coulier’s E! True Hollywood Story.

- A Google Maps visit to Dollywood.

- Snooki’s audio book read by Christopher Walken. (Oh, wait. That one might actually be funny.)

- A reaction video of you reacting to me reacting to you watching me react to the next music video Rebecca  
   Black releases. REAC-CEPTION!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

So, a few things for today’s post, I’ll go right to it. See that picture I posted? Well, that’s my Tim Burton/ Halloween nail art. I’m particularly proud of it cause I’m getting good at this nail art thing. I also got pretty good at keeping my teeth off my fingernails massacring them like I usually did. As a constant nervous wreck (think of me as a fraidy cat) I tend to bite my nails, it’s so normal to me that I don’t even notice.

Anyhoo, there’s my nail art, hope you like it. I took inspiration from other examples on halloweenie nail art and then did what I liked the most and/ or seemed easier.

Also, here’s a picture of my right index finger nail art because I feel it deserves an honorable mention, being that I did it using my left hand, and I’m a righty. I know of a friend who’d say this is my rendition to Bob Ross. She’s probably not wrong.

I have no picture- taking skills what-so-ever

On another subject, I’m kinda bummed out this year cause I didn’t get to go to any Halloween costume party and I was really looking forward to one. I had my whole costume planned, although I am glad I didn’t buy any of the material I was going to use in advance, because then I’d be pissed as well as disappointed. My costume idea? First I thought about an over-the-top circus ring master, but then I thought dressing as Honey Boo- Boo would’ve been way funnier. I was going to make my own version of the go go juice (just add vodka or whatever).

Alas, my dream of dressing up this year has been crushed. Although the go go juice can still be done. Cheers to that!

Well, I guess that’s it for today. Ooh! My sister has been attending these classes for pregnant ladies, don’t know what it’s called, it’s not Lamaze, anyway, I’ve been going with her and her husband, and today’s the last class. Of course, being a class and all, they had homework for today, which was to make up a situation that could happen during labor and if it doesn’t apply to their baby’s birth plan, to learn how to negotiate with the OB-GYN in charge.

I have no idea what my sister came up with, but what I understood from the assignment is that one should think about the worst case scenario and play it out. Probably ‘cause it’s Halloween, the one I came up with has to do with stuff I’ve seen from cheap horror films, not an actual medical situation. Which, in perspective should make the other scenarios seem like a picnic, don’tcha think?

HELLO? IS ANYONE STILL THERE?

Here I am, posting again, after what was a reeeeally long time, right? The last two weeks my Mom was visiting and, in all honesty, I really focused on spending my time with her. Anyways, her vacation is now over, and I have extra time on my hands, which I will use to write about some terrifying stuff. Also, I was kind of threatened to write soon, so here it goes.

Remember I told you about my sister being pregnant and all? Well, she’s still doing that, and during her pregnancy she’s been reading a lot about the subject. Stuff like what to expect when…  meh, you know the rest.

Still, I think it’s amazing everything she’s learning and then some. Aah, but I promised you a terrifying story, didn’t I? Well, you see, my sister wants to keep me informed about interesting articles she stumbles while doing her research. Among the various types of articles and blogs she sends me links to, she sent me this one. Read it by all means. I'll wait.

In general, I liked the blog and the author’s humor, but that article was just not for me. As I kept reading, I could almost feel parts of my body bullying my uterus into quitting and my tubes into tying themselves. Yes, that’s how afraid that post made me feel about carrying a life for 9 months and then letting it out into the world. The process, and the afterwards is just… no. My entire body went like this.

But I don’t want to leave this post in such a depressing note. So, ummm...

Nope, no way to recover from that.

Um… Good luck, sis!

Image via

IN WHICH I FANGIRLED OVER RAMEN AT WAL-MART

Surely, you or someone you know is as of this moment into a fandom of some sorts. Most fandoms are perceived as subjects of interest for overly obsessed fans by people who aren’t familiar with said subject.

When encountered by a person who belongs to a certain fandom which you are not entirely familiar with, you feel:

1)      You´re trapped in a conversation that not only you’re not interested in, but you’re thinking of nice ways  

       to change the subject or simply leave.

2)      You’ve realized you’ve spent too much time listening to this person, so they think you’re actually 

       interested, and you can’t get out of the conversation because you have the slight suspicion that the other 

       person might be mentally deranged and not react well.

3)      All this time, you have no idea what this person has been talking about, really.

4)      Assume fan is probably on crack because such excitement over one person, place, show or whatever 

      floats their boat is completely bonkers.

On the other hand, when you are into a fandom yourself and you want to talk about it to other people, you feel:

1)      MUST SHARE EVRYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THIS SO THERE WILL BE MORE OF US!

And that’s about it.

Well, at least for me.

But in all fairness I want to come in defense of  fandoms out there, because if anything they can bring people together who, based on their common interest can build friendships and relationships even if they might find themselves on opposite sides of the world. And not only that, some groups of fans realize that their high number of members could be a tool to do something far more meaningful.

Such is the case of a friend’s fandom and the group she helped found, called the Hiddlestoners, which basically means that they are Tom Hiddlestone fans. She recently told me of a really good cause in which they started a drive in support of UNICEF, and by using the Hiddlestoners contacts they plan on completing their endeavor. Tom Hiddlestone found out about it and twitted his appreciation towards his fans, and how awesome is that? (If you're interested, please support as well!)

I’ve experienced different fandoms throughout my entire life, most of them centered on celebrities and TV shows, may they be of the sit-com variety or the guilty pleasures offered by Reality TV.

These days my fandom has spread from being a music genre fandom to fangirling over a whole country. I’m not even sure that counts as fandom. Being a fan of a foreign country. Is there such a thing? Well, I’m writing this aren’t I? So there’s at least one. If anything, this has been my most educational fascination, by far.

Let’s see, I learned the choreography to ‘Everybody’ by The Backstreet Boys and I don’t think even they actually dance it anymore. Counting abs is not really a talent. And I don't really want to talk about what I've learned from watching VH1 reality shows, so let's just leave it at that.

So, me learning about South Korea, besides being a great improvement as far as fixations go, is the greatest thing that has happened to me in a while. Maybe it sounds boring, but trust me, it is not. Reading, watching, listening and even eating what a country has to offer is immensely interesting and gratifying. I’ve been learning Korean for about 3 weeks now (which totally explains my posting hiatus), and every day I love it more. Maybe it’s because it is a beautiful language, or the fact that I’m doing it on my own through an internet course, the point is it feels like AMAZEBALLS!! every time I learn something new about it.

In conclusion, don’t judge a person by their interest, no matter how much a portion of their lives are invested in a certain subject (not to mention emotions, so many emotions), because what may seem like an obsession to you, it is an education and a lifestyle to others. That is, if you don’t bump in the grocery section into a girl holding close a package of dried noodles to her chest that come all the way from Gangnam, South Korea. Yeah, that Gangnam. 

CHOOSING BABE OVER CHOOSING BABY NAMES

Lately I’ve been thinking about choices. Whether it’s your basic “What should I wear today?” or a full on life changing type of choice, most decisions are based upon the fact of knowing there are more than one alternatives to pick from.

You see, the other day I went down memory lane as a result of being labeled through Facebook on a school picture that was taken about 13 years ago. There I was, this scrawny looking kid with a whole bunch of other also scrawny looking kids as well. It was kind of fun seeing faces I hadn’t seen in over ten years and realizing I wasn’t the only one who was going through an awkward phase at the time.

Then I realized, of the 42 students standing there staring at the camera, I believe less than five of us made it out of my small hometown looking for better opportunities and career choices. I was like, really? Is that it? Sadly, it is. And of those who stayed, an even fewer number went on to study at the local university.

Ok, so it’s one thing to stay in a small town and work in whatever position one can get hold of with limited academic education, but the one thing I can’t get over is the fact that some of my female former classmates went through teen pregnancy, two of them actually got pregnant a year after the picture was taken. And the rest already have a family of their own supporting babies and sending kids to school and stuff.

Coming from a small town, that is a normal course and people there have no problem wrapping their heads around this kind of stuff, because, well in a small community, family values are stronger than one would think. Yet, I find it that the only family value regarded in my hometown is making a family and start popping babies as soon as your body is physically ready.

I tried to put myself in the shoes of those who had their babies first. I mean, do I see myself having a pubescent kid who will soon enough be yelling and picking up fights with me as he/she is going through their adolescent phase? HELL TO THE NO. NO WAY. I don’t even see myself with a newborn baby of my own, even if I’m at a more proper age for taking such a responsibility. (I’m excited about my nephew, but I also feel like ‘YAY! A baby I can hold and see whenever and stuff and it ain’t mine!’).

Talking it over with my Mom, in her wise ways of trying to make a less judgmental person out of me, she pointed out that the girls I was talking about chose to have babies and chose those lives for themselves, but to be honest, I have to refute that concept. How could a girl, of 14- 17 years know what she really wants? Is it a true choice? Did they not know what else the world has to offer other than 3 minutes of being uncomfortable (c’mon, at that age, with a horny teenage boy no way it was going to feel like a joyful ride) and a lifetime of raising a child?

I also pictured what it would be like meeting them all again, say today, for example. Yes, many things besides our goofy looks will be apparent that have changed. And yet, I would still feel like the odd one out as I usually did back then, for whatever reason, only this time it’d be because I’m not even remotely close to having a family of my own. To their eyes, my being an independent woman (as far as I can be, but I do live on my own) is nothing more than being a lonely woman who hasn’t been able to catch a fella not even to fertilize one of my eggs. Well, there’s a reason that hasn’t happened and that’s because I feel I’m still too young and not ready for it. If that’s the case then, what were they back then? Completely prepared zygotes? I wouldn’t want to give up on choosing between a few pair of shoes for myself in order to choose shoes for someone else. I’m too selfish still and me not having a baby is just nature’s way of doing its job. Score for nature, right?

Maybe it sounds harsh and as though I feel better about my life in comparison to that of people I used to know, but I can’t help but feel grateful that the choices I’ve made for myself have made it possible for me to have access to a lot more choices in my future, say, if I’d like to travel somewhere or simply catch up on my reading. It’s not things people with kids can’t do, but they have to factor in a lot of considerations and stuff, and for the time being, I like considering only me, as selfish as that may be.

 So even if I’m still not there yet and missing that piece in my life, who’s to say it would actually complete me? If anything I feel complete already, only in constant growing process. I only have to grow out of this selfish phase which comes with cute outfits, dare I say. It might take a while.

SHE LIKES TO DRAW

Today’s post is a special one dedicated to a friend who is embarking in a new adventure in another state to pursue a professional goal, and I want to wish her the best through here.

To be honest, if it hadn’t been for her, I would’ve never had the courage to start up a blog, whatever the result of it might be. She helped me name the blog, designed my beautiful logo and assisted me in setting it up and everything.

Aside from all that, she’s a kind of a wack job, but then again, so am I, which I think is the reason we got along so well.

So, here’s to you AleG, you gave me my first Tarot deck (printed it out for me is more accurate), taught me the fun (and importance) of communication through memes and gifs; you never once mocked my obsessions, if anything you even fed them giving them more power over me (which is actually kinda fun).

Anyways, thanks for everything while you were here, for sharing your interests, and most of all, for not judging me (or calling the authorities) when I talk about stalking celebrities for real.

See you soon! Good luck, and Godspeed!

PS: Keep drawing… I’ll keep writing.

Feature image via

OBSESSION, THY NAME IS K-POP

A long time ago, the summer before I went off to study in the uni, I was head over heels over an Asian waiter who worked in a recently opened Chinese restaurant in a city near my hometown. I remember begging my parents every time we went to Douglas, AZ, so we could go eat at that particular restaurant with the excuse that last time I hadn’t had any spicy chicken and needed to have me some of that. I’m telling you, this waiter was so worth having to do compromises with my Mom in which whatever outfit I’d want I would trade it for the pleasure of going to this oriental buffet.

His bleached hair was shoulder length and at some point had been dyed orange I think. It was a look I hadn’t seen on any guy before, but it totally worked on him. Every time I saw him it was like The Carpenters would start playing in the background, he was so cute. Although his English skills were limited, as a waiter he was very attentive, and I always tried to make sure his tips were generous.

I know he remembered me after the first time we ate there, and afterwards, even when we were sitting in a section that wasn't his, he would always stop and ask if everything was OK in his thick Chinese accent. As cute as his gesture was, he did had the worst timing because he inevitably directed that question at me (since I was the only one who actually understood what he said), but he would come up at the exact moment I’d be stuffing my face with a whole dumpling.

Of course, I never amounted the enough courage to approach him in a Carly Rae Jepsen manner and at least give him my email address, cause talking on the phone would be out of the question. Had I done something of the sort, there’s a possibility we could’ve connected and had a romance as hot as the wonton soup. Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, right?

Anyways, that was my first and only crush from the orient I had in my entire life. That is, until now.

I’ve told you before about how I obsess sometimes right? Well, let me tell you that these days I’ve been geeking out hard on pop music. After years of listening solely to indie music and trying to find the most underground artists out there, all of a sudden I’m fixated in pop music. But not just any pop, it’s the kind of pop that has to have a letter hyphened before it. I’m talking about the catchy-stick-to-your-brain beats of K-Pop.

Let me explain. It all started with this video, which I saw through Gawker. Let’s just say that, like it did to a whole lot of people on the western hemisphere, it made my day. If you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you do, because it’s the most entertaining music video seen in a while (but, then again, I do watch only indie and underground music so excuse me if I might be wrong). I was interested in watching more videos from Psy when I noticed the “related videos” list on Youtube and I clicked on it. That was all it took. Psy was my gateway to K-Pop and its most popular young artists.

I feel awkward fangirling a boyband when the last time I was so excited about watching a group of guys dancing and singing in unison, Backstreet Boys were dropping their Millenium album. That was over twelve years ago. Back then it was normal for my teenage self to go nuts learning the dance sequence in ‘Larger than life’ and learning the lyrics to ‘I want it that way’ in just two takes. I was a hard core fan, and I idolized Nick Carter. It seems like it was eons ago, so much has changed since, but now I feel like I am a teenager again wanting to dance to songs like this or this. (The last video is of my favorite group so far... and it is indeed a boy, I don't care what anybody says, he is an adorable maknae).

So, what to do when your latest guilty pleasure/ obsession du jour makes you feel like you are way behind and too old for it? I have no answers, I just keep feeding my fixations until I grow tired of it. Basically, that’s what I do. I’ll love you till I’m sick of you. 

Image via

LONDON OLYMPICS 2012

In the midst of the Olympic Games being held in London I thought of a few  activities, which, if they were sports played in the Olympics, I would totally compete in, and probably win a few medals.

-          Amount of food I find that go well with cheese.

-          Pounding a 600ml almost frozen Coke without reacting to a major brain freeze.

-          The longest time without breathing while talking about recent obsessions.

-          The longest time without blinking while watching this gif.

-          Carrying all my groceries to the front door in just one trip.

-          Stalking celebrities I’m obsessed with.

-          Synchronized hankering for melted cheese and chocolate anything.

-          Running around the house looking for my keys right before I have to go to work.

-          Sleeping in the office during my lunch break.

-          Moving my lips to all the dialogue in You’ve Got Mail, Rat Race and Independence Day.

-          Going back and forth from anywhere in my house to my bedroom, always forgetting what I was going to do/ get.

-          Successfully learning the choreography of Single Ladies. In my head.

DEATH AND TAXES

Taxes. I hate doing my taxes. Well, actually hated, as in I don’t do it anymore, because I don’t have to, not because I decided to be a rogue citizen living on the edge by avoiding taxes.

A few years ago, I used to work in an office in which we had no contract whatsoever, and required to hand out receipts (which we had to pay for) for each paycheck. This means I had to either have some unknown CPA do my taxes for me, or ask my mother to do them for me. I went for option number 2, for obvious reasons. My mom used to work for a CPA, and I would send her all my information, regarding my monthly income and expenses via e-mail, since she lived about three hours away. She explained to me as much as I could wrap my head around the process of declaring one’s taxes. When she explained it to me she used words, she used charts, she used booklets with ‘simple’ useful information on them, dioramas, at one point there were apples, grapes and a watermelon, to no avail. I have no understanding for taxes. Not even Dora would be able to enlighten me on the subject. I’m an architect, I like math, I’m good with numbers, but when it comes to talking about revenues, interests, rates, proceeds, etc my brain gets overwhelmed and starts going like this.

Ultimately, she told me what to do with the information I had and she would do the rest. It was easier to leave me in the dark than explaining all of it to a blank face.

 Suffice to say that I never got the hang of it, and thanks to that resolve of having my mother take care of everything made me feel safe I wasn’t pulling a Wesley Snipes on the country’s big house of moneys, otherwise known as SAT.

About a year and a half later, my mom told me I needed to find someone else to do my taxes, since she was quitting her job, and she didn’t have the software at home, which is only acquirable if you are a certified CPA. I found one, and thankfully she was great, and also I needed her to only do my last two months of taxes and file my annual notice. I’m not even sure what the terminology is here, all I knew there were papers I had to sign and send. And then that was that, I had quit my job as well and only had to wait till April month of taxes swinged by to do the annual thing and then say buh- bye to the SAT. Or at least that’s what I thought.

About a year later I received an e-mail from the home treasury stating I had to update my status in order to declare my next taxes. First, I naturally went “Da fuuuck?” and then I decided it must’ve been a mistake. That night I called my mom to ask her what it meant if maybe I was missing something.

She didn’t answer the phone, but my dad did, and I started telling him about my conundrum, stating that I was probably making a bigger deal than it actually was. Then my dad, the prankster he usually is, tells me “Don’t worry, I’ll send you cigarettes so you can trade when you’re in jail.”

The conversation followed like this: “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Daaaaaaaad!! Hahahahahaha… hmm... Hahahaha… Hahaha… Ha… Wait, you’re joking right? RIGHT? That can’t happen… Can it?”

"I'm sorry, I have to go watch Prison Break right freakin' now!"

To which my dad replied: “Well, I don’t know if you’ve seen the news lately, but a new law has been approved that if you haven’t declared your income while still being on their system you might go to jail, even if you’ve been unemployed, you have to report this kind of stuff… You sure you were discharged from the system?” I was like whaaaa? “Yeah, I mean, I think so… I told the CPA to do that… Imma look for those papers right now.” Which I did.

I dug out a bunch of papers I had on binders, folders and clips and there was nothing. Nothing that stated I was no longer on the SAT system. I wanted to die, of course, while my mom on the other end of the phone was driving us both nuts cause I couldn’t find those very important papers. I pictured myself behind the bars, a smoke on my left hand, a small knife concealed in the right one, talking to other female inmates who were there for manslaughter, theft, drug muling, and for wearing crocs (that is a crime, right?) Shivers were going up and down my spine like it was an amusement park ride.

After a while, like 30 minutes or so, my dad came up with the answer. He entered my information onto the SAT site and a click here, a click there, random keyboard noises, and voilá, there was my official status which affirmed my discharge in the system since May of the year before.

I felt like I had breathed for the first time since my dad’s cigarette comment and a huge weight had been lifted from my Al Capone shoulders. And then it hit me, like a train off the rails, that I could’ve gone to jail. I suddenly felt like a badass for being able to pen that down in my list of close call experiences.

100% Badass. Now I don't really need to
know how to do my taxes. No, wait.

Me. In jail. I couldn’t believe it, I don’t know anyone who’d been so close to saying the same thing, which made me more into a badass. I realize I was completely delusional like Ross was when he was sure someone made an attempt to kill him when he, Joey and Chandler went for a ride along with Phoebe’s cop boyfriend. But, I don’t care. Us badasses don’t care.  Right? I’ll ask my dad. 


Images by agstlm

KIDS + POLITICS = WTF?

Frankly, I did not have a subject about a specific theme to write about for today’s post. However, I will share with you something I heard yesterday at the park.

I was walking Passpartout around the park, he peed here and there, sniffed the grass, barked at some unsuspecting strangers walking by as well, went no. 2, you know, a normal walk for the two of us, while children  frolicked around the playground being supervised by some weary adults. 

Anyhoo, as we passed by the slides there were three 6-7 year old boys playing, and one of them, in an attempt to urge another who was on the top to finally slide down, yelled at him “HURRY UP, PEÑA NIETO!!” OK, so for those who might wonder, Peña Nieto was recently elected president in México and yet, he is one of the most hated men in the country for the last months. Understandably, the child must have picked that particular form of insult from one of his parents or a very opinionated adult. Of course, the kid doesn’t really know who the loathed politician is and what the whole deal is actually about, but he understands enough to use it as an insult with conviction that it would grant him what he wanted, in a verbally abusive way.

Nevertheless, what I feel is kind of sad, even though I did laugh when I first heard it, is the fact that an innocent child’s play was tarnished, albeit with certain naivety, with the politics of adults who don’t play nice either. Irony, or just the way life is, who knows? Either way, if the boy who verbalized the offense would’ve used another word, say like “A**hole”, I don’t think it would’ve sounded as spiteful and mean as the politician’s name did as he loudly uttered them at his playmate.

SEX AND THE CITY: The Love Interests Top 5

A few weeks back I wrote how much I liked Sex and the City, and how I would write about the different aspects of it, according to my very own point of view, even if I’m sooo very late to jumping on this bandwagon going to the closest Barney’s (the store, not the big purple dinosaur, of course). 

Logic would state that an accurate breakdown of the show should start with an illustration of each of the leading female characters, but since everything about the show has already been written and done I don’t see much difference if I actually start with the guys without whom the sex part of the show would be boring. Although, to be fair, my personal picks are a result of how much I liked them not only as their respective sex partners, rather more in a relationship level point of view.

So, without further ado, here are my top 5 in the order I personally like them best.

No. 1: Steve Brady

A down to earth man who saw no need for drama, Steve is totally an obvious first choice, because when you think about it, he is actually the perfect man. Sweet, charismatic, funny, and most importantly he wasn’t threatened by Miranda’s success, whom he loves deeply during the show, even when they were not together. I was so happy when they ended up together, especially after seeing how Miranda finally knew his worth but couldn’t do anything about it because he was already in a relationship with someone else. Ugh, the pain! But then they got married and all was well.

Then, in SATC The Movie, and he cheated on Miranda, (I’m probably about to say what no girl should say)  she did neglect him a lot, and even though it’s not an excuse, I do believe Miranda wasn’t being completely fair to him, and she definitely had to make a few changes if she really wanted her marriage to work, not just Steve. Anyways, Steve is perfection. Plus, he owns a bar. Super bonus points for that.

No. 2: Aidan Shaw

Of all the guys Carrie has been with, my favorite has got to be Aidan. Bohemian, artistic, a craftsman, passionate, he was a sweet deal compared to any other guy who ever saw the interior of Carrie’s apartment (you reading this Mr. Big? I’ll get to you.) Aidan was better in so many levels just with the fact that he wasn’t afraid of commitment, of stating that he was in a relationship, saying ‘I love you’ and showing it. How could Carrie ruin it? TWICE? First, she cheated on him with Big (major eye rolling over here), and then she wouldn’t marry him, for no good reason at all. Literally, she gave no good reason except the fact that she was afraid, which, okay, no one wants to get stuck with someone who’s afraid of being with them, so Aidan dodged that bullet. Why she cheated on him in the first place is beyond me. Had Big dipped himself in pheromones before they met at the hotel bar when it happened? I don’t get it, I don’t like it one bit either. Aidan was everything Big was not and Carrie, the masochistic, complicated, dramamonger that she is couldn’t handle it. Her loss, I think. 

No. 3: Jerry Smith AKA Smith Jerrod

Samantha struck gold with this golden haired smoldering hunk of a man. That smile, those dimples, the eyes, the abs, everything about him oozes sex and Sammy, sweet man-eater Sammy had to get her hands on him. The best part? Once he got his hands on her, he didn’t let go. As much as she tried, she couldn’t shake him off and for that I’m grateful, because it gave us a chance to see what kind of man it takes to finally see Samantha in a long term monogamous relationship. He stood by her when she was going through chemo and never flailed while being by her side. She turned him into the Absolut Hunk, an action movie star, a Hollywood household name, and he turned her into a woman who could see the perks of going to bed with the same man over and over again and be happy about it, which seemed even more impossible than anything else throughout the whole 6 seasons. Alas, their love was doomed in the movie, but still, I think theirs, was one of the best relationships in SATC.

No. 4: Harry Goldenblatt and Aleksandr Petrovsky

Despite being complete opposites of each other, Hairy Harry and The Russian come fourth in this list. YOLO, that’s why. Haha, I’m just kidding, I just wanted to use YOLO before it would be too late for this blog. Just kidding, again. 

Anyways, let’s start with why Harry is here. Though physically he’s not really my type (not even Charlotte’s type), Harry Goldenblatt, Attorney at Law, is one of the nicest guys Charlotte ever dated. He did come a little too strong at the beginning, but all’s well that ends well, I suppose. Although, I was a little annoyed at the fact that he led her on for a while before telling her they had no future unless she were Jewish, I completely forgive him for the level of  devotion he has for Charlotte which is simply adorable. Even if he was messy and a little less than refined, he was cute, like a big teddy bear.

Aleksandr on the other hand, well I have to confess I wouldn't be able to resist a sophisticated man with an artistic sensibility, and an accent to top it off. At first, I didn’t like him that much, but after a few episodes he won me over. He was mature (okay, older) and very cultured, without being too pretentious about it. Again, another man who’s everything Big was not. Not much into the drama, and also not ambiguous nor a complete mystery. In their relationship Aleksandr was an approachable partner. Okay, so maybe he neglected Carrie when they were in Paris, but, again, I think she could’ve done a little more, maybe go to some classes to master the French language and not feel left out when they are with Alek’s friends, or maybe say “Hey! You go do your thing, I’ll do mine, we’ll meet later. I’ve got fans waiting for me.”  Also, the reason she was in Paris was because of him, his work and all, so yeah, it was kinda obvious he was gonna be real busy. I would’ve stuck it out longer, since he at least asked her to go with him all the way to the city of lights, while on the other hand, Big didn’t even mention it to her. 

No.5: John James Preston AKA Mr. Big

Hey! How’d you get on this list?

Okay, so Big isn’t exactly my favorite and since I couldn’t decide who I liked more, if Harry or Alek, a spot was still open. I get it, he is tall, has dark hair, a deep voice, a mysteriousness to him, and I guess he is sexy. I have a problem with him because he is too complicated to be with, but at the same time, so was Carrie. I mean, the chemistry between these two is undeniable, and I guess it had to take him 6 years to realize that he never stopped loving her. So he had an undying love for her, you might say, and carried a torch for her as much as she did for him. They were meant to be, simple as that, even if neither is familiar with the term. And after all, Big did have his moments and a few grand gestures that melted Carrie’s little heart, and made her feel more alive than ever. That level of passion must be reason enough to be with the one you (sometimes) unwillingly love, even if all the drama doesn't really seem to be worth it. Plus, he must've been really good in bed if she ran back to him over and over again, heartbreak afer heartbreak.

All images are screencaps from Sex and the City, 1998 and here

IT’S NOT ME, IT’S EEW (EPISODE III)

This past weekend a group of friends and I decided we had to make a much deserved trip to the beach where we could relax, unwind and boost up energy and add a bit of oomph to our summer days.

As any trip to the beach, everything was quite idyllic except for the uncomfortable humidity, which could be fixed with a quick dip in the water. Pretty much the standard outing… except for the view.

We settled down right behind an older man who seemed to enjoy being splashed by the sea right on the shore. He was fleshy… very fleshy. Not at all appealing, but since we were in a public space there wasn’t much we could do about it except look the other way. Whatevs, right?

Later on, while soaking up the setting sun, we noticed a woman dragging her 9, maybe 10 year old son into the water right in front of us, and started, hmmm, how would you say? Splashing him and scrubbing him in his private area. Yep, right there, in public for everyone to witness. Apparently, the boy had something going on inside his shorts that made him itch. A lot. None of us could take our eyes off the scene we had front row seats to, and the mother didn't even flinch to the many pairs of eyes of those appalled of her inappropriate approach to an embarrassing problem her son was dealing with. And it didn’t end there. Whatever it was that had made the boy so uncomfortable in his nether regions, I don’t think that splashing salt water at it was doing the trick, and when it wasn’t working the mother proceeded to pull down the swimming short’s of the poor kid who was already mortified enough, and kept splashing more water at him. EVERYBODY was looking at them, and suddenly we saw the flashing of a camera going off right next to us. To make matters worse in the trauma this poor little fellow will have to endure, his own family took pictures of the whole incident with which I’m sure they will mock him for a very long time.

Oh, the old man and the boy? Probably related, since they were in the same group of tanned vacationers. 

Hopefully, the kid will brush it off and forget it ever happened, but if he doesn’t and ends up on a therapist’s couch wondering where it all went wrong, he could most likely pin- point it to the weekend he went to the beach with his family.

THE AWKWARD INTERACTIONS OF THE SOCIALLY INEPT

As I’ve mentioned before I am a complete spaz when it comes to social interactions, especially when it comes to being around people I don’t really know. Uncomfortable silences are my presentation card since I use these to rack my brain coming up with topics to talk about. And usually the only topics I come up with are those which are inherently associated (at least where I’m from) with people with absolutely no social skills. No one wants to hang out with a person who develops rashes when social situations put her nervous and it painfully shows.

A one sided conversation I’ve probably held in the last year goes like this: “So… uhm… you like zombies? Well, of course you don’t! Who likes zombies, right? But, uh… what’s your stance on zombies? Will you be ready when the zombie apocalypse arrives? Do you think they ever starve? Oh, you have to go? OK… nice talking to… they already left… Kay…” Then I wonder off and remain silent in order to not creep others out with an awkward smile in an attempt to make it seem like I’m socializing. Then I creep them out with a smiling silence.

Sometimes I forget these new people don’t know me and don’t know I often refer to my dog as my kid or my baby, so I get two sets of weird looks when I say “Oh, my baby is so adorable! He usually likes to hold my jeans with his teeth at the same time I’m putting them on, but other than that he’s just swell! Uhm, I mean my dog... my baby is actually a dog. Yeah.” At which point at least one person present will recommend I watch the Cesar Millan show. Trying really hard not to eye roll, and just smile and nod. Creep everyone out when I smile showing all my teeth while my head bops up and down with unblinking eyes.

It is too difficult for me to meet new people. It is something I almost hate and at the same time desperately yearn for. But I don’t really know where to start.

Recently I google searched “how to meet new people” and the automatic search completed it with “…without being creepy”. Read an article with that in the title. Didn’t help, either. See, the thing is, what I find a little exhausting about meeting new people is meeting new people. Not exactly because I don’t want to get to know them (most of the time), but when asked about interests or stuff like that I have to try to seem normal, can’t be myself at first and that is just bumming in itself.

That’s what introverts are. Weird people with somewhat weird interests (many of them turn into obsessions, in which we see nothing wrong about), and skittish around people in general. We kind of feel like that cat on youtube that fights with its own reflection. “What is that? How can it be? I wanna get closer! DON’T TOUCH ME!!” We should form a club, but as introverts that just defeats the whole purpose, I guess. Although, somehow Comic- Con still happens. (Jeesh, I wanna go to Comic- Con 2013 so badly).

Well, as I was saying, it’s hard. Although, I do try to make an effort when I walk my baby dog in the park. I’ve talked with so many strangers oohing and aahing at his cuteness. I’ve met a few people who, when I run into them while my pooch is relieving himself in public, I will say hello to and ask how they are doing. But sometimes I get a better kick when I scare people off when they ask if he bites and I answer stuff like “Not anymore” (with a disappointed tone), “Not yet” (with an enthusiastic tone), “Sometimes”, and “I don’t know… pet him so we’ll see.”

Feature image VIA

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE. I VIRTUALLY HAVE NONE

YAAAAAAY!!!

Finally! At last! It’s here! I have it and I couldn’t be happier! My all new bright and shiny kitchen!

The other day I posted about me finally acquiring my very own bright and shiny new kitchen, and how it had been a bumpy ride. I’d decided to be patient and calm throughout what remained of the whole process, until, well, that ride got bumpier. Like no- brakes- thrown- off- a- cliff- while- juggling- pigs- in- the- air bumpier.

First off, the guys who were supposed to install my kitchen neglected to tell me that I first needed to make an appointment in person at the Home Depot desk, so when the guy said “Yeah, I’ll come by tomorrow afternoon” he was basically lying. I couldn’t afford to delay the whole thing another week so I asked my brother- in law, Al, to help me install it, and thank heavens, he was eager to comply, since he likes building, installing, and what not.

So, I started unpacking everything and I found that some pieces were missing, which I assumed had been placed inside one of the packages, maybe by mistake, maybe to save on that wrapping plastic that can actually take over all of a living area space. I called my sister and notified her of this and Al said they’d pick me up so we could all go together to claim the missing parts.

We got there, we asked around and got referred to Client Services, where the person in charge realized two things: 1) the girl who made the sale sold me the kitchen separately, instead of as a package deal, which was obviously cheaper, and 2) she charged something in there wrong, and I ended up overpaying. Not good. Al told me I needed to chill, and if necessary not be around even, because that whole patience plan was totally crumbling down.

After much ado, it was settled that I’d have to return the kitchen, I’d get a refund and then I’d buy it back with a refund and the missing pieces. Al tried another approach which was to get the refund plus the missing parts without having to tote the kitchen back to the store. The clerk said nope, no can do, standard protocol. Not getting around that, we bit the bullet and took the kitchen back the very next day, through our own means (we weren’t going to wait around for the store truck to come by), and handed in the kitchen and got the refund back.

When we got to the Client Services desk, there was some other clerk at the desk (of course) and we explained the situation, since we needed them to clear the refund. Want to venture a guess at what he told us? He said “Why don’t I just give you the pieces you need? Less hassle.” That right there made Al lose his cool and now he was kind of like I am when I threaten these people I will punch them in the throat just for not paying attention and not even being on the same page when these kind of situation happens. Honestly, these guys can really put your patience to the test.

Anyway, after even more talking and paperwork we drove off (about 2 hours later) with my new kitchen which, by the way, was the very same one only wrapped in even more plastic.

Between Al, my pregnant sister and I, we managed to build the kitchen in a span of 3 days (we took Monday off) and by Tuesday, more like Wednesday at 1 am, my house was the proud holder of the kitchen that drove me nuts all the way to tears of frustration and then finally joy.

So here’s to you Al, because you managed to keep me from biting people’s heads off, put up the kitchen and remaining patient with me all the while keeping my sis from hurting herself. Although, to be fair, I think her ego got pretty bruised from when she put that cabinet door upside down.

POST ELECCIONES. POST ACCIONES

This post is in spanish due to the message I want to send out, and to whom.

Miércoles, tres días después de las elecciones, y como era de esperarse, millones no están de acuerdo con los resultados. Los fraudes electorales son el pan de cada sexenio y evidentemente este año no ha sido la excepción, pero con herramientas como Facebook cualquier inconforme puede hacer uso de su estado actual para hacerle saber a sus contactos acerca de sus puntos de vista y hasta denuncias con respecto a boletas falsificadas, robadas, duplicadas, etc., etc.

Soy de la opinión que en efecto el 1ro de julio hubo fraude electoral en gran parte de la república, pero no creo que estas manipulaciones de los resultados se limiten a artimañas de un solo partido. Estoy segura que incluso el partido por el que voté hiso de las suyas. Aclaro, el hecho de ser objetiva en cuanto a esta triste realidad no me convierte en una ciudadana conformista, ni mucho menos apática. Y a eso es a lo que voy, con lo siguiente.

Resulta que, Facebook no solo brinda la oportunidad de difundir información que si bien, como mexicanos nos interesa o nos debiera interesar acerca del proceso electoral y las diversas actividades ilícitas que el PRI cometió, no solo el domingo de elecciones, sino a lo largo de toda su campaña electoral. Bien, estoy de acuerdo con ello. Con lo que no estoy de acuerdo es que la gente que decide hacer este tipo de ciber- manifestación al parecer cree que los que no lo hacemos es porque somos apáticos, que no nos importa lo que suceda con nuestro país o que estamos de acuerdo con el resultado. Yo estoy de acuerdo con que se haga un conteo limpio y transparente y que quede el presidente que la mayoría relativa escogió. Pero no a costa de agresiones pasivas- agresivas.

Uno de mis contactos en Facebook puso esta imagen con este mensaje:

Estoy de acuerdo, la historia no se escribió en un día y se requiere de mucha gente para realizar un verdadero cambio, pero ese el detalle, ¿cuántos realmente están dispuestos a hacer un cambio?

Lo que es peor, muchos de estos inconformes no sintieron este despertar social, ni su conciencia como mexicano les hablaba hasta hace poco, es casi como si fuera una moda. Por eso, muchos de los que aguardaban con ansias el 1ro de julio con la esperanza de que las aguas políticas se apacigüen y el ambiente hostil intolerante fuera terminado, llegaron a poner estados con mensajes como los que se quejan en dicha imagen.

Una de esas frases, si bien no lo puse textualmente en mi estado de FB, sí compartí un par de imágenes con mensajes acerca de que el cambio está en uno, si tú como individuo no te esfuerzas en hacer un cambio como ciudadano para con tus demás compatriotas, no esperes que los políticos de alto rango lo hagan también.

No puedes exigir algo que tú tampoco cumples. Ejemplo 1 (y no me canso, ni me cansaré de decir lo siguiente): ¿Haces caso de los señalamientos de tránsito como debe de ser? DIARIO me toca enfrentar conductores que no saben siquiera lo que quiere decir “CEDA EL PASO” si estás leyendo esto y no sabes a que me refiero, es este señalamiento:

Y quiere decir que si está de tu lado, significa que TÚ debes frenar y darle el paso a los automóviles que vengan y converjan con tu carril (porque ese es el caso en los que se usa esa señal).

Hay quienes ni siquiera hacen caso de los semáforos. ¡Más claros no pueden ser! Pero hay gente que se cree superior porque al parecer tienen mucha más prisa y cosas mucho más importantes que hacer que un insignificante semáforo no los puede detener.

Esos señalamientos, para que me entiendas, son como "pequeñas leyes" que debemos obedecer. Digo pequeñas, pero no por ello insignificantes, pues si las sigues puedes incluso salvar vidas al evitar ponerlas en peligro, no solo por si chocas con alguien más, sino porque es posible que lleves a alguien más en tu carro. Esa es una vida que está en tus manos cuando manejas. Estas “pequeñas” leyes son fáciles de seguir, ni pierdes nada acatándolas, ni ganas nada si no lo haces. Ahora, si eres de los que no te gusta frenar ante un alto en una intersección, yo te hago la siguiente pregunta: ¿Si tú no puedes respetar esta ley de tránsito, en la que no ganas dinero, cómo esperas que un político obedezca una ley en la que de lo contrario, se embolsaría miles de pesos?

NO EXIJAS ALGO QUE TÚ NO PUEDES CUMPLIR

Ejemplo 2: ¿Tiras basura en la calle? ¿Eres de las personas que se pasean en la plaza de la catedral, compras tus tostitos con queso o con lo que sea, vas y te sientas a una de las bancas y cuando terminas ni siquiera eres capaz de tirar la bolsa a la basura, que por cierto está a unos escasos tres metros de donde estás sentado? Yo no entiendo las personas que dicen que nuestro país es muy feo por sus políticas y corrupciones, pero ni siquiera se les puede molestar con que tiren los envoltorios en la basura, o si están en la calle, y como suele suceder, no hay botes de basura cerca, pues mínimo guardarlo en una bolsa o algo hasta encontrar propiamente donde depositarla.

Si tú no quieres cambiar tus hábitos de tirar la basura donde se debe, entonces no te quejes de la basura que hacen nuestros representantes políticos.

NO EXIJAS ALGO QUE TÚ NO PUEDES CUMPLIR

Hay muchos más ejemplos que puedo poner, pero por ahora la dejaré ahí, porque, en cuanto a esos dos ejemplos, todavía no termino. Tenemos el país que nos merecemos, punto. ¿Qué si cómo lo sé? Fácil te la pongo. Las veces que he ido a Estados Unidos me fijo en como los mexicanos que también van a hacer sus compras allá, sí respetan las leyes de tránsito, ceden el paso cuando corresponde, hacen señalamiento que van a dar vuelta, no tiran basura a la calle. ¿Y por qué lo hacen? Porque allá sí tienen miedo de que se les imponga una multa si cometen alguna infracción. Allá hay que comportarse cómo gente civilizada y de primer mundo porque allá las leyes no son un chiste como los aquí. (Aclaración, no digo que Estados Unidos sea perfecto, pero al menos podemos estar de acuerdo en que están mejor en muchos aspectos que en México.)

No se me olvida una ocasión en la que regresábamos de Douglas, AZ, y una Cherokee blanca con placas de Sonora que venía delante de nosotros, al introducirse a Agua Prieta aventó desde su carro una bolsa de plástico con basura a la calle, así sin más. Que poco le importa a esa persona su país.  Y así hay muchos que de esa forma no les importa México pero están dispuestos a manifestarse porque el resultado no “favorece al país”. Esos ciudadanos son los que no favorecen nuestro crecimiento como nación.

Dirán que porque no me levanto a manifestarme en público soy apática, y que no defiendo mi nación. Con el corazón en la mano le digo a esa gente, denme un país que se merezca esa lucha. No pretendo olvidar que sí hay gente buena en México que sí lucha y trabaja, pero para sacar adelante a su familia, y por ellos vale la pena esforzarse también para salir adelante, todos unidos como pueblo. Pero hasta que no haya un cambio en nosotros como ciudadanos en el que haya respeto mutuo y respeto por el suelo que llamamos patria, no creo que un presidente, de cualquier partido que sea, logre el cambio que todos aspiran.

MY WAY OR... THE HIGHWAY?

Not actually my new kitchen, but close enough

These last few weeks I’ve been dealing with renovations to my house, mainly in the kitchen area, thanks to that little fellow who decided to visit for a while, until it met its destiny. I decided it was kind of like a break up, in which anything it touched is thrown away. I don’t wanna see, it I don’t wanna touch it, I just want it out and done with. Or maybe I just used it as an excuse to finally do what I had been postponing for no good reason at all.

First, I got rid of the sink and a really old oven range in which I couldn’t really bake anything because I was sure I’d fly across the house in a gas leakage related explosion. Because of that I’ve been without the privileges of a kitchen for a whole week, and managing with an electric pan and a microwave oven. I guess I didn’t think that through.

During the week I bought a new kitchen counter, sink, oven and I’m finally having kitchen cabinets. This to me is quite a big deal, which makes me feel more like an adult living in an adult house, with adult things, while watching Downton Abbey like an adult. But none of that will be installed until maybe today.

Home upgrades aside, what I’m learning a lot about here is patience, or the lack of it in me. Not everything has turned out the way I’ve wanted or planned. And it really gets to me. I get really annoyed when a minor setback ensues, I get mad at the wrong people and I end up regretting doing what I started.

If anything I should take this as a valuable life lesson, and accept that not everything will be what I expect it to be. Surprises will be thrown here and there, and what matters is how you deal with it. Nothing good comes out of making a tantrum, or crying, or worse, giving up on what you are working for, just because someone else tells you it can’t be done the way you had planned. It’s not really the end of the world, and it’s not that it’s impossible to achieve it your way, you’re just taking another road which eventually will take you to where you want to go, so to speak.

I’m nearly at the end of my kitchen project, and some curve balls could be thrown my way, but I will try and remember there is no way that is going to stop me. If you’re a little bit like me and delays in your plans irritate you, don’t let it take over you. You’ll feel sorry afterwards. I learned it not the hard way, more like the embarrassing way. Take my word for it, you don’t want to be like me and cry in front of the two guys who tell you they can’t install your kitchen sink because the current placement of your plumbing is actually getting in the way. These guys are not sensitive and pretty much don’t care what you’ve already been through. So suck it up and ask what the next step is and move on. And pray that all is done by the time the third season of Downton Abbey gets here, because that’s the only kind of drama worth crying for anyway.

Feature image taken by me.

R.I.P. NORA EPHRON

Today I was going to write a whole other post, but upon reading recent news of Nora Ephron’s demise, I’d like to dedicate this piece to her.

Nora Ephron was a writer and director that made millions of other women around the world laugh, cry, fall in love with Meg Ryan and made us dare to dream of the idea of living in New York. Nobody portrays New York like she did. Nobody else will.

The stories she told were filled with quirky characters, compelling love stories, inspiring friendships and above all the extraordinary presence of hope.

What I love most about her movies is the fact that even if they are fictional, with the exception of Heartburn and Julie & Julia, she handled them in a way that they seem so real, like you actually know a couple like Harry Burns and Sally Albright, who bicker in the most adorable way, and while she might be high maintenance he doesn’t care and he loves her because of that. Or maybe you and your best friend are like Annie Reed and Becky in Sleepless in Seattle and together you read into every single sign or obsess over An Affair to Remember together. Or maybe you feel comfortable talking to a stranger you’ve never met and tell him anything and everything that’s on your mind making a connection like you’ve never felt with anyone else you’ve met in person.

See, that’s the secret to Nora Ephron’s movies, she held ordinary situations in her hands and turned them into extraordinary stories that transcend time, making every bit of her work into a masterpiece. I believe her passing away is a big loss for the film industry, and the fact that we shall never see something new from her, is reason enough to mourn.

She was sensitive and had a tender way to narrate, but at the same time she was a strong woman who lived an amazing life.  A great example of feminine power she lead the way for many other directing and writing women in an industry that was largely male in her time.

To me, her movies mean so much to me, and maybe she might have thought it was nothing, but if I would’ve had the opportunity to say it to her, I would say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings. And also, maybe ask her what sort of hat a butterfly would buy, even if it turned out o be a mistake, like most hats are.

Feature image via

RESOLUTION: RESPECT

I guess it’s kinda weird to talk about New Year resolutions when we are half way through the year, but hear me out for a bit. Do you make resolutions at all? Have you kept any? Are they the same every year or do you make new ones?

I for one have never done a resolution to make New Year resolutions in my entire life. That is until this year started. You see, as I was leaving town to visit my parents for the holidays, and as i waited for my plane to arrive, browsing for light, humoristic reading material in an airport book store, I found shoved under paperbacks in a corner a book by Gretchen Rubin titled The Happiness Project. The author narrates how in a span of a year she made it her mission to achieve happiness, even though it is a highly subjective matter, through resolutions she assigned herself for every month of that year in order to fix or improve different aspects of her life, such as her relationships with her husband, her daughters, household, friends, work and even to start a blog. Of course, her project was specific to her own needs, but it is adaptable for anyone else if desired to follow something like that.

It appealed to me at first, being that I wanted a fresh start in a lot of things going on for me at that moment. Since I was also going through some setbacks in certain relationships, I decided to give it a go, and step by step fix or improve and see what would happen. Things could only be for the better.

January and February resolutions were started but not quite kept, so maybe I’ll start over on them, which were to keep a tidier house and to eat healthier.

On March I followed into Mrs. Rubin footsteps and began a blog. That resolution I kept, but I guess I should pick up the pace.

After that I sort of stopped setting resolutions for myself and let 2012 go on by as any other year.  Except for one little detail. Since the beginning of the year I meant to make this my year. Not in a “I’m getting married this year” like Charlotte kind of way, but in the sense that I will do what I want when I want to do it, just as long as I don’t step on people’s feelings.

I usually felt like I had to do things that would please others and masquerade that as something I wanted to do. Sometimes it was in order for them to feel better about themselves, even when it was clear I wasn’t up for it, for the sake of not having a major drama spill. Kind of like trying to contain acid in a Styrofoam cup all the while smiling and telling people I don’t mind getting my hands burned.

Really, it’s not that big a deal the shift I made. I just say yes when I want to say yes and no if I want to say no, of course, always minding others feelings. See, it might be a bit selfish on my part but there is no reason to be rude. I’m already rude in other ways so no need to add more to it. Just kidding. Sort of. I mean, if I don’t feel like going out one weekend, I don’t see the big deal in saying I’ll just stay in. Unless of course I’m nagging to go out and then don’t show up, well that’s just rude. Anyway, what I mean is that I won’t care if people think I don’t want to socialize with them, because probably they don’t even think that and it’s me who’s extra worrying over what others think of me.

Actually, that means that the shift I made isn’t really about what others think but what I think they are thinking, which, let’s face it, is boring even to type. Really! Why would I set myself up for that before? It was clearly nobody’s problem but my own, except now I know and I can do something about it. The thing is, I have always had this “whatever” attitude and had pretty much no regard what anybody else thinks, (or so it seems) and I just decided to put a label on it so I could justify it. But then I hadn’t realized I didn’t need to justify it to anyone.

So, without knowing, I basically made a resolution to respect myself, which in the end (or actually, the beginning) was all I wanted to achieve. I felt I wasn’t respected by some people and until I decided to do something about it did I truly feel that respect. Maybe, not directly from them but, at least I respected my decisions and stopped hating myself at the end of the day. I had to make drastic changes and hard decisions in order to get where I am in that matter, but I feel more like myself and lighter even.

Any change to make yourself feel better could only be for the best, so if you feel like throwing caution to the wind and do what your heart desires go for it, you will not regret it. Maybe it could be taking a trip alone, or quitting your job to start a business on your own, it could be anything really, but if you want to do it, who’s to say you can’t? Maybe someday I’ll do any of those things, too, when the time is right, but for now I will do my own version of making everyone gasp in horror when I go to the theaters to watch Breaking Dawn Part 2 premiere this fall. You can all suck it. Get it? Suck it? Haha.